How Bad We Need Each Other
by Rhea1305
Summary: Small stories from points throughout Kensei's and Shuuhei's relationship. They won't always be happy, because life rarely is.
1. Wait

**A/N: This story will be a collection of songfics or fics written to song, which document Kensei and Shuuhei's relationship. I'm not quite sure why I'm writing these now, since my exams start next week, but i couldn't help it. Updates probably won't be great... probably be very sparodic actually, but I'll always try to get one out a week. Anyways, this song is Wait by Get Set Go.  
****Please review and tell me what you think (of the writing and the general premise)  
****Rhea**

**Disclaimer: I own neither the characters nor the song. **

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**How Bad We Need Each Other**_  
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Wait

_"Wait, wait for the dawn my dear, Wait till the sun gets here, and you will wait too long he will be gone"_

"What if he's not ready?" Kensei asked desperately staring into the eyes of his friend.

Shinji sighed inwardly, knowing the internal struggle his friend was facing. The struggle he'd being trying to work his way through ever since he'd realised that the young man acting as his Fukutaichou was actually the kid he'd saved from death 100 years earlier and the centre of his attentions.

"Kensei-san, I cannot tell you what to do. I have never tried to… but what I will say is this, if you continue to deliberate over what you're gonna do about the kid, then you're gonna be waiting forever."

"But…" Kensei started, but didn't know how to finish. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

Shinji rolled his eyes, "If you wait until everything is certain and stable and happy, you might just have waited too damn long and the kid, who probably feels exactly the same about you, will have got tired of waiting for you work out the finer details."

Kensei looked at him, showing the one weakness he had, to his most trusted friend. His eyes, wide and revealing his one vulnerability…showing how completely he was in love with Shuuhei Hisagi.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_"Wait, wait till the sun shines through, Wait till the sky is blue__, __and you will wait too long he will be gone, he will be gone"_

"Shuuhei, I can't believe we're talking about this again." Renji huffed, "You were so certain you'd tell him. You had a plan and everything. What happened?"

"I just couldn't." he friend replied quietly. "There was just so much to think about. So many possibilities…"

"Was there…really?" Renji asked, giving his friend a searching look.

Shuuhei didn't reply. They were sat outside sixth division's barracks, on one of the veranda's; he preferred to stare out towards the sky than answer his friend. Instead he just kicked the ground and leant back on his hands, to avoid meeting his friends gaze.

When he didn't receive an answer, Renji sighed and said, "You think things over too much Shuuhei. You want to be with Kensei, and everyone in Seireitei knows he wants to be with you, even if you won't see it. You just need to go for it and know we'll be here in the highly unlikely event that he's not interested. If you continue waiting for everything to be certain, you really will lose him, because he'll have got sick of waiting for you."

Renji's final words caught his friend's attention and their eyes met. In that one gaze Renji saw just how deep Shuuhei's feelings for his Taichou went and he felt a small amount of pity for his friend, knowing the pain of the internal struggle he was facing.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_"Wait, wait till the signs are right, Wait till the perfect time__, __and you will wait too long he will be gone, he will be gone,"_

Shuuhei stormed out of the ninth division barracks. He could hear Kazeshini purring in the back of his mind, feeding off the anger that was coursing through his body. He wasn't angry at his lover, he was furious at himself. He'd managed to say the wrong thing, yet again. He'd made the terrible mistake of making it sound as if he didn't care about what Kensei did for him, as if he was ungrateful for the small but meaningful gestures he'd always given, because he'd forgotten one little holiday.

It had meant to be a joke, said with a smile and no bad intentions. Yet, as soon as the words had left his mouth, he knew it'd been a mistake. He knew he should have just kept his mouth shut and his opinions to his-fucking-self.

There was no clearing up the mess right now. Despite the anger dissipating away into the heavy guilt that inevitably follows any fight. He knew there was nothing he could say to make it up to Kensei, not right now anyway. He'd have to leave everything to settle for a while, let the storm that had got kicked up blow over before he tried to talk to him.

He'd seen the hurt in Kensei's eyes, even though the man would never admit it. He wasn't the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve. No, Kensei's emotions lived in his eyes, hiding and waiting for someone to recognise everything that was going on. Shuuhei could always tell.

Shuuhei also knew he had to find a way to fix things between him and Kensei. But not tonight. So he kept on walking. Walking away from the barracks, away from the squads, to a quiet place in the woods, a clearing, where he could think.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_"Wait till you doubt no more__, __Wait till you know for sure__, __and you will wait too long he will be gone,"_

"You questioned my character, Shuuhei. You questioned who I am and what I believe in, all in one sentence."

"I know, but I never intended to. I didn't even mean it in a bad way, I didn't mean to question you like that. I know who you are." Shuuhei stood behind Kensei and put his hand on his back. "I do."

Shuuhei had said everything he could. He knew Kensei well enough to know long speeches and bullshit were not appreciated or wanted, so he didn't bother with them.

When Kensei didn't reply, Shuuhei sighed and sat down on the nearest chair and put his head in his hands. He had never understood how a fight could tear you into such small pieces even when you tried to fix things. He'd been feeling sick since yesterday, he couldn't eat and he was so tired he could barely function. He'd even gone to a bar with Renji when he realised he couldn't sit in the clearing any longer because he was making him worse.

He couldn't lose Kensei, not because he'd been stupid enough to over-react and say the wrong thing. He could almost feel everything start to slip through his fingers, leaving him trying to cling on for dear life.

Kensei looked round at him and said, "I'm not going anywhere Shuuhei, stop panicking. I'm just mad at you. It'll pass, but I can't deal with you always jumping to the worst case scenario. I know it's you natural reaction after all the shit you've been through, but I've been through shit too. You deal with it and move on. I just… I need to be alone and think right now."

Shuuhei looked up, met his lover's eyes and nodded. He left their quarters without a backwards glance, knowing if he did, he'd have stayed no matter what Kensei said.

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Remember guys reviews are love. ;)


	2. Desperado

**A/N: So I didn't think I'd be updating this early, but this came to me on the bus into university and then it just flowed on from there. This continues on from Chapter 1, however, the song is 'Desperado' by the Eagles. However, the lyrics are not _in_ the chapter this time, it's more the general feel of the song and some borrowed lines. I have a couple of thank yous, first to Darkiise, for reviewing; always being there to bounce ideas off and to offer support- I don't know what I'd do without you, secondly, to Gypsygrrl and reader713 for putting this on alert, finally to everyone else for reading. Please review,**

**Rhea**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the songs… I'd be rich if I did… not a destitute student.**

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Desperado- The Eagles

Shinji knew how to push Kensei's buttons. They'd been friends for so long, it was impossible not to know, especially with Kensei's intolerance for stupidity, irrationality, and Mashiro. It was easy to get him riled up enough for their sparring sessions to become interesting.

However, Shinji always knew how to make Kensei see reason. He'd helped to bring him and Shuuhei together; he'd managed to persuade his rational friend, to do something irrational, but ultimately right. Yet, he now had to watch as it was crumbling in front of him, after just a year. The strain of their relationship was beginning to show and they'd started to argue. This last argument had been their worst and, even though Shinji knew they'd talked about it, Shuuhei wasn't staying at the barracks and there was a heavy tension between the two. And Shinji knew why.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Why are you being stubborn?" Shinji asked lazily

"Huh?" Kensei grunted, looking up at the blond, stood in the doorway of his office.

"I know you heard me," the blond replied, swaggering over to the couch in the middle of the room. Upon reaching it, he proceeded to loll upon it, flicking his tie over his face, in a childish manner.

"I did and I chose to answer with a noise rather than actual words, hinting at the fact I don't want to talk about it… in fact I don't even know what you're talking about" growled the silver haired Captain in reply. Shinji scowled.

"You know damned well what I'm on about!" the blond snapped in frustration

Silence fell between the two men as they both tried to force the other to speak first, in a childish attempt to prove they were right. Shinji glared at Kensei from the couch, despite the fact Kensei had yet to look up from the training report he'd been reading since before his friend entered.

"I'm not being stubborn" Kensei said quietly after about ten minutes.

Shinji was startled by his friend's choice to speak. But it revealed that Kensei wasn't handling everything as well as everyone thought. I meant that Kensei didn't know what to do and needed someone to talk to, even if he didn't particularly want to.

"No, you're not, you're being obtuse." He replied.

"I'm a person not an angle," shot Kensei, looking up from the report long enough to meet his friend's eye and run his hand through his silver hair.

"Then talk."

Kensei sighed, "It's not that simple."

"Really? I thought it was. You see what happened was you and Shuuhei had a fight. Now it was a huge fight- on a scale of Hollow to Aizen, this one was an Espada. However, he let you work thing out for yourself before he came back to talk it through. You talked it through. Now what's not simple about that?" retorted Shinji with a slight grin.

"Everything!" Kensei shouted suddenly.

Shinji sighed, knowing he was going to have to pull out the big guns. "It is simple Kensei-san. You just don't want it to be. When are you going to come to your senses and realise that you've been "out riding fences" for long enough? You had your reasons. You were angry and upset and lonely because we were forced out of home and hunted like common Hollows. I get it, I was there too. We all had our way of dealing with it: that was yours."

Kensei stared at his friend, unsure what to make of his blunt approach to Kensei's rather full sexual past.

Shinji had paused waiting for Kensei to respond, however, when the man just stared at him he continued, "You knew like the rest of us, it was going to hurt you eventually. None of us expected it to be Kisuke, but that's not the point-"

"Don't. Go. There." Kensei growled.

"Why not?" Shinji asked, knowing he was treading on dangerous ground, but he didn't care. Right then, he knew he had to make sure, no one got hurt from this, Kensei or Shuuhei.

"Well Kensei, why not? You drew the short straw; it was going to happen to you at some point. You got dumped because in the words of the humans 'if you draw the queen of diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able' and you just kept going."

"Shinji!" Kensei shouted, his sudden shout catching his friend by surprise.

"Don't you dare tell me to stop Kensei you mangy old git. You need to hear this, because Shuuhei is the best thing that has ever been laid in front of you. You aren't getting any younger and you need to come to your senses. You've got to let somebody love you, even though you're afraid of getting hurt, even though you're afraid of being betrayed again. You've got to let someone love you, before it's too late, and Shuuhei is meant for you. He's the best thing that has ever happened to you." Shinji paused from breath,

"He loves you, completely. In relationships people hurt each other, it's just what happens, but if you can forgive the act then you can get over the pain and I'll be damned if I am going to sit around and watch you ruin your life and his."

Kensei started, almost vacantly at Shinji for a few minutes, unsure what to do or say. Eventually he felt a blush working its way onto his cheeks and he let his head fall on his desk with a groan. He felt ashamed, firstly that he'd been such an ass and secondly because Shinji knew him too damned well.

"You're a bastard, you know that?" Kensei mumbled, not bothering to pick his head up from the desk.

"You've mentioned it once or twice." replied Shinji with a grin, satisfied that he'd made his point.


End file.
